Okay, I’ll bite on this week’s meme. Honestly, if I were creating a list of the Top Ten Books I Wish I Could Erase From My Brain, this wouldn’t have been difficult at all. The woes of an English major.
But no, this is an entirely different group of books.
Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.
Top Ten Books I’ll Never Read
1. Charly by Jack Weyland – Most of you have probably never even heard of this book. Why? Because it’s Mormon lit. Even got made into a Mormon movie. I don’t have anything against Mormon lit, just like I have nothing against Christian lit, but I DO have a problem with deliberate tear-jerkers. I was seventeen when I sat down to watch the movie and I hated how manipulative it was. Hate hate hate. Let the story touch me because it will naturally touch.
2. (anything else) Ernest Hemingway – I like “A Clean Well-Lighted Place.” That’s not so bad. “The Hills Like White Elephants” was better in college than high school. But every attempt at reading a Hemingway novel has driven me crazy. It’s called a period. Use it.
3. Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams – I love sci-fi, I love comedic sci-fi, but something about this book has never interested me. Probably the “OMG YOU MUST READ THIS” thing. Usually a turn-off.
4. Anything Joel Osteen – I cannot describe how much the man’s smile bothers me. No, really. Turn it off. You’re scaring me.
5. Moby Dick by Herman Melville – It’s one of the few standard classics I will escape an English graduate degree without reading. And I am proud of that. I didn’t mind Billy Budd when I read it in high school, but Moby Dick can happily stay unread.
6. Anything in the Horror genre – I have considered breaking this rule for I Am Not a Serial Killer, but I don’t think I’ll get there anytime soon. I read Goosebumps as a kid, but that’s as far as I go, thanks.
7. Anything Brontë – I have not read anything from any of the sisters throughout my education. And I intend to keep it that way. Really just on principle.
8. Anything Tolstoy – I did Dostoevsky. Crime and Punishment did not kill me. I’ve looked at War and Peace. That might.
9. Interview with a Vampire by Anne Rice – For no other reason than truly no interest.
10. The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan/completed by Brandon Sanderson – I have my epic fantasy loves. I love LOTR and four of Eddings’s series, in particular the Belgariad. But the Wheel of Time has never excited me, and it’s too long. Too, too, too long. I love Brandon as a writer and world creator, but…I’m not going to read the other books just to get to the part where he picks up.